BRRR... It's Freezing

The Erasmus Household is on a (to borrow a word from my BFF, Nicole) Feeze, not just a little budget chill but a frigid freeze, like Antarctica in a Blizzard Freeze, Polar Bears in The North Pole Freeze, Icebergs on the sea Freeze, etc., etc.,...you get the picture. And since I don't think it is going to change until hmmmm.....economy improves, business relationships improve, our health insurance drops it's rate in half (don't hold your breath for that!), Kingdom comes, Hell Freezes over, etc. etc. Anyway, to survive the Freeze, I have gone back to work - ok so I have always worked a little but the one shift every couple of months doesn't really count as working all that much. I am trying to work enough to get insurance so we can cut out the private insurance which is killing us. And while I do enjoy being a nurse in the ER, it has been challenging to try and fit working into our already crazy, busy life.

I like the ER because it doesn't matter how long you have been a nurse, there is always something you can learn or something you haven't seen before. Usually this is all clinical stuff but this summer there have been a few shifts that have really made me stop and think about life. Recently, at work one night I was taking care of an 82 year old man who had come by ambulance to the ER after a syncopal episode (fainted) while he was eating dinner at a restaurant. Minutes after he arrived the ambulance phone (which we lovingly call the "Bat Phone") rang again. The Patient this ambulance was bringing in was an 84 year old man who happened to be the brother of my 82 year old patient. Apparently, he was out to dinner with his brother and was so upset that his brother had passed out that his heart went into a rhythm called V-tach, which is not compatible with life if left untreated. We quickly got that taken care of when he arrived and soon got the whole story. These two brothers, and their one sister were all out to dinner together to celebrate the birthday of their eldest brother who had passed away 2 years ago. The love they had for each other was so obvious and so uninhibited - I commented to them that they were a very close nit family, they laughed a little and quickly agreed that they had always been best friends - what a tribute to their parents. This little event really made me think of what I can do to help my kids be closer to one another and to truly love one another - Especially, my two that can't seem to get along too well this summer.

The other day I had another shift that was really really tough. The "Bat Phone" rang, I answered it and immediately knew this was bad. The paramedic gave a quick report of a 6 month old normally healthy infant who was in full arrest that was going to be pulling up to our door in 3 minutes. It doesn't matter how long you have been a nurse, this is always tough. The baby arrived, we worked and worked, most of us with tears in our eyes trying to hold it together while we tried to start IV's, IOs (like iv's but they actually go into the bone, not the vein), did chest compressions, intubated (breathing tube) gave medication after medication trying to get his little heart to beat on its own but nothing seemed to be going well, the father was in the room with us really struggling as he watched us work on his baby. The poor mother was standing just outside the doorway. She tried to come in once but it was too much for her to see us work so hard on her sweet baby. This poor young mother just cried out in the hall begging and begging her baby "Chase" not to leave her. After about 1 1/2 hours of doing everything we could the doctor finally called the code and the time of death was recorded.

When I got home from that shift I had to take everyone to football, I quickly loaded them up and dropped them off at 3 different parks, I decided to stay and watch Daws. I sat down on the grass and held Nick on my lap and had a good cry - thank goodness for big sunglasses and for a sweet 3 year old who still likes to cuddle his mommy. Life is so precious, I don't want to take any time I have with my 5 babies for granted. Hopefully, I can always remember to hug them a little tighter and tell them how much I love them.